“Beauty is how you feel inside, and reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” - Sophia Loren
Recently I read this quote above and it confirmed everything I have ever thought about beauty, to be true. Lately I have been hearing so many women complain about the way they look, and it frustrates me. I am not sure if it has anything to do with being older and I pay more attention to it, or that the season of life I am in brings about such comments. For most of my life I have been what people consider “skinny”, with the exception of five years ago. I was put on a medication for migraines and I gained over thirty pounds in less than six months. I stopped the medication for many reasons, but the weight gain was one of them. Within less than six months of being off the medication, I was back down to the size I am now.
I decided to write this blog because so often I hear women that might be a size 10, 16, or 22 complain about being “fat” and most of them make comments about my size. Now I know what your probably thinking. ”she’s skinny and pretty”, so she can say that.” ”she’s so lucky”, etc. Well for starters I will say that I am a very beautiful person but I don’t think of that in terms of how I appear on the outside. I think of my beauty in how I feel about myself, the respect I have for me, the love I have for others and my overall general outlook on life. These are all the things that make me beautiful. If I was in a horrible accident tomorrow and my face completely burned, would people say “she’s so lucky” or “she’s so beautiful”. I would hope that people would say that I am beautiful because of who I am and not what I look like on the outside. From the time I was a little girl, all through high school and college, I was absurdly skinny. It wasn’t because I was anorexic(although my doctor swore I was), and it wasn’t because I ate like a bird. I would eat an entire pizza by myself and still be hungry. My mom and my best friend Mandy’s mom, were probably convinced I would eat them both out of house and home. Still I would go to school and was teased incessantly. I was thrown in a trash can, locked in a locker and even one time held out the window of our high school by my ankles. My favorite story is one night we were riding back from a basketball game and on the bus one of the players, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I asked him why and he started singing “if you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife”. That moment has stuck with me since and I was insecure in relationships because I never thought I was pretty.
It wasn’t until I was older that I started growing into myself. I became more confident, I was firm in my likes and dislikes, for the most part I knew what I wanted from life and had finally reached a point where I could speak my mind. This is when I became beautiful and when the compliments started. This was when I started doing more things to take care of myself, such as my hair, my skin, eating healthier(although I can still annihilate a pizza and I often do), drinking more water and many more things that help you look better externally. I often hear how lucky I am but the truth is I am not. I have had my own fair share of struggles and many of them people wouldn’t even dare to wish for. I have been told many times, I need a cheeseburger or two, that I am too skinny, even that I have an odd looking face. The truth is, I eat cheeseburgers(probably too often, I am far from too skinny(I wear a lot of black and thank goodness for Spanx) and I do have an odd looking face. I know I have one eye larger than the other, a crooked philtrum(the ridge under your nose), ears that stick out a little and if I gain any weight it goes straight to my face making me look like I have more chins, oh and did I mention I have cellulite?? Yes, I absolutely do and I have tried every anti cellulite cream and treatment I can find. All of these flaws make me very much who I am. Without them I would just be a clone of someone perfect and frankly I prefer the flaws. I also love when others have what are considered flaws too. Maybe they have a scar on their face, or a bigger nose, their teeth aren’t completely perfect or so many more. These things make a person who they truly are. I am not saying a person shouldn’t have surgery to correct anything they dislike but only have the surgery if it is what they want. Never do it for the approval of others. Also, I know first hand, that if you do, you won’t look like yourself after all is said and done. Recently I had filler put in my lips. I did so because I knew it was temporary and if I didn’t like them it could be undone. Well for several weeks afterwards, I hated the way I looked. Not because I looked bad but because I didn’t look like me.
I shared all of this with you because I want women to stop being so hard on themselves. Your age, your dress size, your weight. They are all just a number and they are all relative. If you are happy with who you are, and forget about those numbers then the confidence will shine through and you will be beautiful. It might even be the best diet you ever try. So here is my challenge to all women, Love yourself. Respect who YOU are. Be confident. Say what it is you need. Embrace your flaws. Know your likes and dislikes. Show love and respect to others. Eat healthier. Walk more. Drink more water. Tell yourself you’re beautiful because SERIOUSLY, you are!!!